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I often mention to people that one of the things I most
enjoy about photography is what it teaches me about me. You would think that at
seventy-four I would know a lot more than I would ever want to know—and I
probably should but I don’t. Well, there are some things that I know that I
wish I didn’t but that’s just me. I do know that I am not the same person I was
five years ago or ten or whatever time frame you would care to pick. Even sot
in their ways old farts like me change whether we want to or not.
Well, I got into an argument with a poster on Photonet.
Nothing unusual about that but I did come out the winner—maybe not in the
argument but at least in the end because I had an epiphany. I do enjoy having an epiphany because I know I am about to learn something I didn't know. A newbie asked about lens focal length for
shooting portraits. I shared my opinion that focal length is immaterial and
some techno geek decided to take me on by explaining that if I would look at my
photographs from the diagonal of the image I would possibly change my mind.
Yeah, like I’m going to worry about such minutia. I look at my photographs from however far or close I happen to be positioned away. I am not someone that you can
suggest should change their mind—I have made it my place to change everyone
else. Okay to straighten them out. Yeah, that is pretty much what I told the
geek. LOL
However, in the process I was browsing through the ‘portraits’ I call them people
pictures that I have posted to Photonet. I realized something that I was not
aware of—I am backing off. I often joke that if I am going to take your
photograph I want to sit on your lap to do it. I do like working in close to
people. I like to get inside comfort zones. I attribute that to the fact that
photographers have an easier time relating to photographs than they do to
reality and being reclusive, I needed that intimacy, that closeness when I
look at my photographs.
I am not sure that is still the case. The photographs posted
are in roughly a chronological order with the newer photographs at the top.
Next to each other I have two folders, My Favorite Model, photographs of
Janet and Friends, which is as it says photographs of friends. I first
noticed it in the photographs of Janet compared to recent photographs of Alcy.
The photographs of Janet are much closer—much more intimate. Okay, that can be
expected because the relationships are considerably different. But then I noticed that
the earlier photographs that I did of Alcy were much closer than the more
recent photographs. Nowhere as close as the photographs of Janet but still
noticeably closer than the newer ones.
So I started looking at all of my people pictures from
bottom to top and they are all getting farther away. I find that interesting.
Not exactly sure how to interpret that just now but it something that I will
keep an eye on. It is simply not possible that I am becoming more reclusive—had
practically maxed out on that years ago. Maybe I don’t need the closeness that
I once thought I did. I mean, like I realized that I have not sat on anyone’s
lap in a very long time. But I do believe there is a reason I am getting farther away and it is
going to be interesting to try to understand why it is. Maybe it is age. Maybe
it is preparation. Maybe it is premonition. Maybe it has nothing at all to do with photography.
I will make this statement. When you move beyond seeing
photographs as the object photographed photography becomes really, really interesting. I am not sure you can have an epiphany if you see the photograph as the object photographed.
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